The Mkango Circus is back in town! Minus Mr Oil! Tickets (SHARES) for Sale!

Roll up! Roll up! The ‘Mkango Circus’ is back in town! Your host, Ring-Master Will Dawes (CEO) starring Justin, waite for it! Waite for it, The Clown, special guest appearances Geordie BigGob with his ‘Momentous’ musings and a gunslinger sidekick,  the rooting tooting gun slinging cowboy with a ‘Voodoo’ medical degree ‘Doc’. Promotional videos and pump casts can be found on Vox Markets! Tickets for the ‘CIRCUS’ are on sale at 4.5p, golden tickets are being ‘Touted’ via Jub C(r)apital or any other small c(r)ap bucket shop flipping outfit!

Please read the terms and conditions below. Get a magnifying glass…..

Golden tickets are limited to a select group (MUGS). Qualifying criteria must be met. 1/You must not under any circumstances speak to or contact an Independent Financial Advisor. 2/ You cannot sell out until all of the above have sold into the Pump & Dump. 3/ You must constantly retweet ALL of the bullshit spewed out on twitter & BB forums, especially on London South East. 4/ You must under no circumstances look at the balance sheet or the fundamentals of Mkango. 5/You must never openly disclose that Mkango are financially fooked! 6/ You must never ever question why after 10 years Songwe Hill is what it has been for the last million years, a hill! 7/ You must not look for a rare earth mine on Songwe Hill, (Because there is none). This promotion is limited to halfwits who cannot and do not research historical Mkango performance. No refunds.

Here we go yet again my in-box is becoming cluttered by retail investors on the great Mkango fairytale tellers, the company that’s told so many lies Billy Liar looks truthful! The ramping here is shocking and goes against all sanity. Mr Jub Crapital has today just trousered  666,666 tickets for his most excellent twitter ramping. He’ll be selling those on the quiet and has probably already flipped them out. Sadly Mr Chris Oil who ran away to the ‘circus’ has come back to his castle atop the Malvern hills. There’s no place like home Chrisy! The dream of REM riches in tatters….. A ‘Cautionary Tale’ if ever there is one…..

A brief history of the company; Mkango was originally incorporated under the name Alloy Capital Corp.  on November 13, 2007. On December 20, 2010, Alloy was acquired through a “reverse takeover” by Lancaster Exploration (“Lancaster BVI”). The articles of Mkango were amended to change its name from Alloy Capital Corp. to Mkango Resources Ltd. Mkango Resources commenced trading on 5 January 2011 on the Canadian TSX ventures market. The Company have two 100% interests in rare earth prospecting licenses in southern Malawi, the Thambani licence and the Phalombe licence.  MKA have during their time on the Canadian market raised millions of Canadian dollars on the back of the above two licences. So just why did Mkango list on AIM? Answer, they couldn’t raise any more cash in Canada, the company were basically bankrupt. Their 31, March 2016 quarterly update makes this abundantly clear. They had $87,000 left in the till with a deficit of over $11,000,000. And a quarterly cash burn of $214,863. Most of that cash burn was director/administration fees. The Canadian retail investor brigades had worked out that they were a POS. Enough was enough. No more Canadian cash could be raised! To put it in a nutshell. Unless Mkango got a listing on AIM, then they were BUST.

We’ve had dozens of bullshit RNS’s and promotions on, rare earth riches, Lanthanum, Cerium, Praeseodymium, Neodymium, Samarium, Europium, Gadolinium, Terbium, Dysprosium, Yttrium, Holmium, Erbium Thulium, Ytterbium, and just about every ‘ium’ known on the planet! Folks it’s all to be found on the top of Songwe Hill.  The Truthium, Honestium, Integrityium, Fundamentalium, Dilutionium is that it’s all a Fantasmium!

Day1 of operations! 2008

8/9 years later. Can you spot the difference?

The current balance sheet yet again makes for grim reading! You’ll remember how the Poltroons and Troubadour’s were singing/jabbering back in December/November 2016 etc. How MKA wouldn’t be placing for 18 months. Well those MKA inspired lies were soon put to the sword with a placing. They have since ‘Placedium yet Againium’. As of the 30th June 2017 Mkango tell us that they had £497,000 but they also had £337,000 due to related parties. That means that the £160,000 has now gone, hence the latest placing for £500,000. On current cashburn circa £265,000 per quarter they will need to raise yet more cash in 3/4 months. The pattern here is to rinse repeat for keep the lights on money. The cost of the mine at Songwe Hill is a minimum of $216,000,000 dollars. Money this POS just simply does not and never will have. Hey what do I know? Maybe they’ll never ever place and dilute ever again. There is one thing for certain these fookers will place and place every time they can get one away. Take a read of this from their own 30th June financial update.


The operations of the Company for the next 12 months are currently being funded by the net proceeds of an equity placement completed upon listing on the AIM on June 15, 2016, and a second placement which closed on December 30, 2016 (Note 8(a)) and by future equity placements.

There’s not one gram of saleable R.E.M or uranium ever going to be produced here. You can wave as many bits of paper in the air as you want. Shout all you want. R&D, Magnets, Offtake agreements etc. The fact is that there is no mine and there never will be one. The clowns shouting about offtake agreements online are missing a very salient point. You can’t offtake anything until there’s a fooking full scale mine in operation! Worthless paper, which brings me nicely to their share value.

The Mkango Circus is fast approaching ten years and nearly $15,000,000 dollars spunked away with liabilities racking up every quarter. We’ve had placings galore, dilution galore and a consolidation to hide the piss poor share price performance. Not forgetting that the great Lord Chris Oil has now escaped from the circus while the ‘clowns’ looked the other way.  That in itself is one of the major red flags! Not so much as a sniff of a mine ever opening.

I’m adding in cash as of today £500k, which is almost certainly way over what’s actually left. Plus a generous £500k for their listing, ’cause I’m a generous guy.. There’s no value whatsoever in their paper agreements and certainly no value whatsoever in the paper assets as they need $216,000,000 to get into production. Circa 100,000,000 shares in issue Mkango Resources (LON: MKA) are worth 1p per share. That’s it!

Remember the Mkango Circus Clowns are currently out performing you can always spot them they wear big red noses and have black tongues. The biggest Clown out there is Jub Crapital who’ve been selling tickets to the Mugs for a long time while trading out on the quiet and receiving tickets (Shares) in fees. Yet more Dilutionium to add to the Fantasmium is 100% guaranteed here!








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2 Responses

  1. Paul says:

    Those two photos are the same. Same vehicle. Very funny story.